sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
