do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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