so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
