I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
