He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
