i just google imaged poop.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
