haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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