Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
