So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
