garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
