Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize