69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
