I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
