I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize