He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
