i permit you to call me
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
