is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She even gives head with a lisp.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
