You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
foreskin is a definite game changer
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
