Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
