so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
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