Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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