Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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