You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
