$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
