Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
