And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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