then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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