i don't like sucking hair
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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