I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
That accounts for only three of the penises
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
