What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
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Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
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VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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