I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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