I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
