We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she smelled like a LAN party
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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