Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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