Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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