Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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