I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
