Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
