all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
