so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
