Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
