The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
