I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
accomplished twins. life is a go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize