I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
