Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
