i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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