Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
