bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
