4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Just cropdusted the office
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
