What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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