you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
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Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
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By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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