Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
