4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
