Your tits are I can't wait for
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
