its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
