Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
