addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i think i have two assholes
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
