listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
