It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
