hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
