STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
