I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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