I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
