She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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