Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
