Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
