I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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