If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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