I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
